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New element discovered to be associated with natural gas!

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  • New element discovered to be associated with natural gas!

    We know that natural gas is composed of 2 elements, 4 Hydrogen atoms and 1 Carbon atom. With that being said, a newly discovered element has recently been discovered that, while not part of the molecular makeup of natural gas, seems to be closely associated with it. In fact, this close association has been determined to create a hampering effect due to it's extremely high atomic mass. While this hampering effect is widespread, it seems to be a particular problem once the gas has been purified and placed in service as a vehicle motor fuel. The newly identified element has been named Governmentium (Gv), and this is how it works...

    The element, Governmentium (Gv), and it's asscociation with motor fueled cng vehicles.

    Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
    These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.
    Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
    When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.
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  • #2
    Re: New element discovered to be associated with natural gas!

    Hmmm. I think Al Gore is credited with discovering this...and away we go....

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    • #3
      Re: New element discovered to be associated with natural gas!

      Aboutsolutely incredible insight Curtis. I found it to be truly factual and incredibly hilarious!

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      • #4
        Re: New element discovered to be associated with natural gas!

        Excellent adaptation Curtis.. it does seem quite appropriate in this setting..
        1997 Factory Crown Victoria w/ extended tanks ~~ Clunkerized!
        2000 Bi-Fuel Expedition --> ~~ Sold ~~ <--

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        • #5
          Re: New element discovered to be associated with natural gas!

          Thanks Curtis! It reads like a perfect mail to send around.

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